I’ve lately recommenced a regular meditation practice. I am using a behavioral self-management school assignment as an excuse and motivation to meditate at least once daily.
There are many ways to meditate. I don’t know a whole lot about meditation. I’ve picked up my practice in bits and pieces from various places and people, I’ve even got some bits jargony terminology floating around in there. I try not to let that distract me. Doesn’t always work, I’m really quite distractible, and end up spending a lot of my meditation time thinking about meditation, when I’m not thinking about that song looping in my head, whatever it is in that moment.
The moments of quiet are few and far between… and wonderful.
I know better than to try to empty my mind. That’s not going to happen. Instead, I try to remember certain ideas, feelings, strategies, to Be Quiet.
This is not supposed to be profound or inspirational or “deep” or anything like that. This is just trying to make words fit. This is what it looks like:
Monkey brain monkey brain monkey brain monkey brain, mind keeps moving always moving I am a mind inside a body jumping around want to escape stupid body slow and fleshy can’t fly full of gunk so needy distracting pure intellect around the mulberry bush I am I am I am…
I am not a mind in a body. I am my body.
Breathe, and be the body. Breathe in… here. Breathe out… now.
What do I hear? What do I touch? What do I smell?
Not before. Not later. Now. Now. Now. This. Here. Now.
Before and later. Before and later. They’re not here, they’re not now, they’re filler. Leave out the filler. If it comes, let it come and then go. In and out. Flow through.
I am an empty vessel through which the moment flows. Now and now and now is the only thing, and is nothing. Because it’s gone. Now. Gone. Now. Gone.
‘V’asu li mikdash, v’shachanti b’tocham—And let them make Me a sanctuary that I may dwell among them’ (Exodus 25:8)
The song says,
Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary.
Yes, that song gets stuck in my head when I’m meditating. I let it. Because I am a sanctuary. I am a vessel for the here and now, for AM and BE and ARE.
Awake to Being.
And that is the root of my theology. Which I’ll talk about another time.